Hey, welcome to SINCE3000 where we are here to access our past, present and future selves. And in this episode, I want to get real personal. So I'm going to talk about this process I've gone through of decoupling from my marriage, a previous relationship, and then my business, another previous relationship. And what that process looked like of me to start accessing this portal to the present. I'm so excited to bring you today's episode. But before we do, I need to make sure you've heard about member up. So community driven products are the future. But Facebook groups are a thing of the past. And after 10 plus years in the online education space, I've taken all my learnings and I've built this incredible platform member up. It's a customizable, easy to use all in one platform where you can build a premium course community or membership site without the tech headache, gone are the days of having to duct tape together, your content, your community, your payments, all on different platforms, I want you to do me a favor, do yourself a favor and head over right now to memberup.com/Danielle. And you can get started for free today. I promise you, I can't wait for you to see this platform. It's beautiful. Okay, the design is amazing your community is going to feel at home here and you are going to take pride in your online business, it is the place to start head over to memberup.com/Danielle. Now let's get into the episode. I think I found myself at a point where I was running. Well, I was just coming out of a seven year relationship. And I had spent that time defining myself in reference to this other person, which is common, right you you are coupled up. And so my identity was in relation to this person. And once that relationship ended, I found myself asking, I think the all important question of who are you? And I think my whole year was spent answering that question. And all the things I pursued were in pursuit of that question. And I found myself in this period, when I think about my life, I think about it in like three phases. The first was discovering who I was, and I feel like that was like, you know, childhood, teens. And I was trying different things. Luckily, I had parents who expose me to a bunch of different things. And I got to try piano I got to try tennis, I got to try achievement, what does success look like for me? What did these friendships look like for me, and so that was a season of discovering who I am. That's when I said I want to be an obstetrician when I grew up, and I tried all these different things. And so that was my period of discovering who I was. And then I reached a point where it was time to create who I was. So the second phase was creating who I am. And that was you know, the the time of creating course from scratch, creating my first kind of big business, this empire that I was building that started to define what I wanted to create and introduce into this world. It was an extension of what was deep inside of me this fascination with how can we translate our passion, our experiences, our expertise, who we are into what we do for a living? And how can we, you know, translate that to other people who can benefit from it reach and teach people all over. So that next phase was creating who I was. And then I would say in this most recent phase, after decoupling myself from this person, this relationship, I found myself decoupling from my business. And it was in that moment that I realized, oh, wow, like now's the time to remember who I am. I think life is that journey of first discovering who we are, then creating who we are, and then remembering who we are. And that goes back to connecting with our past, our parents, our ancestors, all the lessons we inherited in our DNA, because DNA is your divine North awareness. It's that awareness of what's in your blood, what's running through your veins, who you came from, what they taught you. And then it is using that remembrance as a celebration of who I am, as opposed to guilt and shame around who I am. So I think I spent a year of answering this question, you know, who am I and remembering who I was, and a way to remember who I am is entering what I called a pleasure pursuit. So it was the pursuit of pleasure. And there was a lot of new things I had to learn. Uh, one of the things I had to learn was this connection with my body. So I think in like, you know, Western civilization, we're definitely taught to uphold the mind as the all powerful organ, the thing that is going to direct and explain and figure out everything which served me well, right. I mean, it got me to where I was. And I think with that was a disconnection with body with gut with what is this feel like and being able to put it vocabulary around it, oh, what is this behavior that I am continuing because of how I feel. And so in that pursuit of pleasure, it was a reconnection to my body to my feelings, you know what feels good, before I would power through things, I would, you know, get into the grind, whatever I deemed as success and the pinnacle and achievement at that point I would go for and I would go hard, and I would find myself, you know, depressed. And for me, depression looks like avoidance. I'm an Aquarius. So you know, there's always like, two sides of the coin, right. And I would say one side of being an Aquarius is the I Exist on another planet, I live in the future, we are visionaries, we're able to, you know, see, think and create this new reality. With that on the other side of the coin can come avoidance with the present avoidance with what we're facing right now. So I found myself in a lot of avoidance, I would say, when I was depressed, that's what depression looked like for me. And it meant kind of checking out. And so in this time of being in the pursuit of my pleasure, I found myself checking in checking in with how I felt my body. And I remember, I had a business mentor, we were preparing to work together. They sent me a questionnaire. And it was all these business questions, you know, how much did your business make last year? How much do you want to make? What does your team consist of? And the question that stood out, and it was a mind boggling I was like, why is this question in here? But the question was, what do you define as pleasure? And are you able to receive pleasure? And it was interesting, because when I read that question, I immediately associated pleasure with like, sexual feeling. And I was like, I mean, I don't know like, I'm like a five on a one to 10. Like, I don't like what are you asking? And it wasn't until probably a year or two later, when I was in this questioning this inquiry of who am I? What does pleasure mean to me? What does it look like for me to feel good? In what I'm doing and who am I being where I really was able to finally connect with pleasure that is not sexual. It's just or it can be all you know, they have you come all over. But it's a lot of other things. It's just feeling good. Feeling good in your being feeling good. In the moment. I found myself in practice of just asking myself moment to moment. What would feel good right now? Hey, this is Danielle Leslie, and I have a question for you. If you are a creative entrepreneur, and your business is unique, why are you working with a generic accountant? One of the best decisions I made was who I would partner with on my taxes and my accounting. So if you're creative entrepreneur, you are growing your business, you're scaling your business, I want to introduce you to revel. 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But even more importantly, she's built multiple multimillion dollar businesses once she learned how to overcome procrastination. So she's created a program where she shares her system on how to overcome procrastination. And it's based on emotional intelligence, neuroscience and accountability. She's going to show you step by step how to overcome negative feelings. So you can start taking action and start seeing a difference from day one. So text this number right now to schedule an appointment with Patty and her team to see if this is right for you, and what steps for you to take to overcome your procrastination 813-789-1097 And again, the number to text right now is 813-789-1097. Let's all overcome procrastination together. Now let's get back to the episode. So one of the things I found was, you know, my, my sessions by myself because this is my first time in my entire life, right? And I'm in my mid 30s First time ever living by myself, right? I always had a roommate, or you know, move back in with mom when I was broke, lived with my partner and then husband at the time, right? I was always living with someone so it was my first time in my whole entire life living by myself. And before I had this amazing partner who was able to create great vibe It's for us the music and the, you know, the lighting and everything, you know, helping me modulate my mood and all of that. And I was by myself. And I was like, Well, what does that look like for me. And so that's when I, you know, picked up different practices. And one of my like, pleasure pursuit practices was an evening, right here in my living room on my couch. And I would put on my Galaxy light, and be amongst the stars. And it was also a reminder that that was just a reflection of what's inside of me, because we all have the Galaxy inside of us. And then I would fire up my hookah, let me just show you what that looks like real quick. Like that. And I would put on my music, my playlist, and I would pull up my notebook, and I would doodle and I would just create and just let whatever was flowing flow through me. And for me, that encapsulated a pursuit of pleasure. And what I was able to do in that practice is carry it into the other parts of my life. So that meant our friends, you know, putting together a birthday trip. And this year when I was asking myself, who am I? What brings me pleasure, it was me saying yes, so it was definitely my year of Yes. I always prided myself on being able to say no, I was like, I'm so good at saying no, and I would feel so good in that. And I'd be like, I say no, so good. That nobody even comes around me. Like my friends are like, Oh, I know you're busy. But and you know, my team is like, Oh, I know you have a lot going on but and my family my own mom, oh, I know you're busy Danny but, and I realized with my nose, I created this moat around me. And it isolated me. And it it fed into my belief that oh my god, I'm so lonely. I'm by myself, I have no friends. And so this year of yes was me opening up to invite others into my space, invite others to help me co create this pleasure pursuit. So when my friends said, Hey, let's do a birthday celebration. We started this tradition of going on these like group birthday trips. So one of my other practices in the pursuit of pleasure was celebration. And it could look like an everyday celebration like my hookah sessions, or it could look like my birthday celebration. So that year for my birthday, when it was inspired by my really good friend, Sean, and we were on the rooftop in New York, freezing our asses off we were in our coats, and it was during COVID. And so we had to be outside in this like, they have the igloo type of things. And but we didn't get the igloo because we didn't make a reservation. So we were out in the cold freezing our asses off. There wasn't even a heat lamp. And he was wearing a trench coat I talked most about him was I was like, what you don't wear in a trench coat, you know better. So he was freezing. I was okay. I was in like a bubble jacket. And we're having drinks. And he says, You know, I would love to find another location where we can be warm. And we could have one more glass of champagne. And I said, all right, but let's go do that. We left the rooftop. We walked downstairs and there is a row of limos, a row of limos. And a gentleman approaches us and said, Would you like to go for a ride in my limo and I have a bottle of champagne for you and it's warm and toasty inside? And we're like, Yo, we were like, yes, like you're over? Yes. So we hopped in that limo, we pop the champagne. We did it. Cheers. And we said this is the year where we're making everything happen. And that limo ride was the inspiration for how I celebrated my birthday that year. And for my birthday, I invited my closest friends. It was about 10 of us. And we called up Tony. And we're like come through for my birthday. And I award this like outfit. I basically look like I was about to do a concert. I was like JLo Beyonce, and it was like a little Bejeweled breast situation over here with the underboob showing. And like a black dress and then these like Bejeweled boots. And you know, I walked down and we all got in the limo and we rode it around, and we drink champagne. And we talked about our dreams. And we reminisced and shared what we loved about each other. And then afterwards, we came back here, and we had a tell the truth session. So I fired up my tell the truth sign, we sat in a circle, and I said, share something, some truth that's been living with you that you may not have shared with anyone, maybe not even with yourself, now's your time, now's your space to share that. And we all shared it. And that was a moment where I saw what it looks like to turn your friends into family. And what I learned is that it's another pursuit of pleasure for me when I can sit in a room and be intimate with individuals. Before that my definition of intimacy was so narrow minded. It was coupled with sexual feelings. I thought intimacy had to be sexual. And I realized and I think my friend Tara for this, she said, You know, I think about intimacy on a spectrum, and you have sexual intimacy and then you have platonic intimacy. And you can have this with your friends and to me intimacy means is real time honesty and transparency like this, it ain't nothing big another smaller. It's like real time, honesty and transparency. It's just purity. And in that moment during the tell the truth session, I experienced intimacy with my closest friends and they became family in that moment. And since then we do these group are day trips. So there's a couple of us who are Aquarians. So we'll do like a February birthday celebration. So this past year, we went to Wahaca, Mexico, so shout out to Cheyenne, she's my Aquarian sister, and whoever's birthday it is chooses where they want to go. So she wanted to do a haka. And, you know, experience like the vibe and show us and share up and share with us that experience of being on the beach and being tranquil. And then we went to like a semi nude beach. Well, it was like a semi nude and nude beach. And so we're like, out in the waves topless. And just like, Yeah, girl, so tell me about last year really? Okay, dope, the waters hitting us away. It's a hit. We're like, Yeah, really cool. It was vibe. And then after that, we go back to the house, we have this amazing experience, where my friend Sean created this dope experience. And essentially, it was The Five Love Languages, if you were to turn that into a physical experience. So each of the rooms in the house are transformed into a different love language. So prior to this, my friend Tara created these archetypes in our friend group. And so she's like, I think what we share in common is a fashion fascination with identity. So she was thinking deeply about identity and archetypes, and she gave each of us a different identity. And so one of our friends is the Oracle shadow, it's a Taria. And so when target sees you, she sees you and she sees all of you. And when you give her the invitation and say, can you tell me what you see, she will tell you what she sees. So she is the Oracle in the group. And so her room was the words of affirmation room. So during the party, and it's like, you know, dim the lights were all like in our Disco outfits, because that was the theme we had just wrapped an amazing dinner. And you can choose what room you want to start with. And I started with the words of affirmation room. That's one of my top love languages. And I go in because I really pride myself on seeing myself and hopefully being able to see others. So I go into this room, it's you know, dim, there's a table and there's two chairs, and she's sitting on one side of the table, she invites you to take a seat and I sit across from her. And she says, Do you want me to tell you what I see? Or do you have a question for me? And I'm like, tell me what you see. And she proceeds to tell me what she sees. And she tells me who she sees in me. And this is right on time in my discovery of who am I? Like who am I like who tell me who you see, because this is gonna help round out and expand who I see myself as. And so she proceeds to tell me, that's the words of affirmation room with the Oracle Taria. And then I transition into the quality time room. So quality time is my number one love language. And so I go into that room that's Tara's room. And tears are koala. She's also the authenticator. She begging you to really tell her real and she could tell when you when you tell him the real, and she has a tech background. So I was like the authenticator like the Google Authenticator app, it tells you if you're able to actually log in like if your password is actually correct. So are you actually telling the app the truth? Are you giving it the right code to access all the knowledge? So she's the authenticator and she's able to tell Are you really giving me the acts? Are you really giving me the right code? The right words to truly access all the knowledge? Are you bullshitting me? So she's the authenticator in the group. So we go into the quality time room, and she's there, she's under the blanket, and she's got candles, and she welcomes me into this space. And she's got conversation starter cards, which are my my love light. My unofficial love language is conversation starter cards. And so she picks a card and asks a question, and you answer the question. And then she asks follow up questions, because she's the authenticator to get to the truth to the real truth. And so that's the quality time room. And then the next room is the physical touch room. And that's my third biggest love language. And Shawn is in that room. And so you're able to go in, and you lay down, and he asks you, what version of you do you want to visit in the session today to have a conversation with whether you want to just reconnect with a version of you, you want to heal something with a version of you, or you want to keep key with the version of you. And so you tell him I want to go back to sixth grade Danny, and I want to have a conversation with her and tell her girl, you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You good like, trust me, like you good. So as you're talking to your sixth grade, Danny, your sixth grade self or your four year old self, you're healing, you're having a conversation. He's just putting pressure on different parts of your body. And he's just reassuring you with that touch. And then we go out into the backyard in the backyard is where you have the access service. Station. And that's where you can have a nice cocktail made. And it's whatever cocktail you desire, and you let him know, this is what I'm feeling right now. And he can Cox a cocktail for you. And that's the access service table. And then there's gifts table. And that's where we have some psychedelics. So we have some gifts, whatever gift you wanted, and you pick that gift. And so that rounded out our you know, love language celebration that Shawn created. And he brought in Taria, and Tara to help him deliver this amazing experience for us on our birthday. And this was our well Hakan February, Aquarian birthday celebration. So that's just one of many of our amazing birthday celebrations. One of many examples have been in the pleasure pursuit, how I have turned friends into family. And I've really been able to access what I call the portal to the present. Because I always prided myself on living in the future, right? I'm like, oh, yeah, I know what's coming. I'm a visionary, I can see it, I'm living there. And what I missed was what's here. And it's the portal to the present. Like right now is actually the eternal, like, it's infinite, the present is infinite if we allow it to be. And my year of answering that question, my year of pursuing my pleasure, turned into a celebration of myself, of all of myself, the ups and the downs and the this, and then in between a celebration of those around me, getting a deeper knowing of myself and getting to remembering who I am. And in that remembering, celebrating every part of me appreciating every part of me paying homage to those who came before me, and knowing that they are fueling and propelling my calling and where I'm going, and it was that year that has helped me arise, larger, more expanded, not just able to live in the future and access the future, but to also access this presents this portal to the present to access the people around me and go deeper than I ever had before. So what I hope for you is that you're able to have that same inquiry. If you find yourself being disconnected to body to feeling to spirit, it may be that it's your season to also remember, if you feel like you've been in a mode of discovery, discovery, create, create, grind, grind, when you haven't felt that connection, that flow that ease. Maybe it's your season for remembering who you are. Maybe it's your season for asking the question, Who am I? It's really my dream and my mission, I think, you know, when I cross fingers, pray to God universe, that I have my own kids, one day very soon, that I'm able to teach them the power of answering that question, but not answering but being in the inquiry of creating different responses to that question, because we truly, you know, remember who we are from moment to moment and can express who you are from moment to moment. And that can look completely different from five minutes ago to now and I would love to gift future generations, my kids, anyone I touch through my programs, my courses, my coaching my friendships, romantic relationships, anything, I hope that we can all be in that inquiry of, you know, who am I? And what does my pursuit of pleasure look like? Listen, sometimes life be life in and we do not know what's coming down that road next. Well, that's what happened to me in 2016, when I was unexpectedly laid off from my job. And I was six figures in student loan debt, I had no savings, and I didn't know what was going to happen next. Now, luckily, I had this little voice inside of me at that time, that I couldn't ignore, and it was telling me to take the leap. It was saying, use this as your opportunity to build your business. Use this as your opportunity to create your dream life. And so I believe that life happens for us, not to us, and that nudge in my spirit, I should listen to it. Luckily, I did. Fast forward to today, I have a business that's made over $20 million. And I've helped over 10,000 people create their online businesses and their dream lives. So do you want to learn how to turn your story into an online product and launch in 30 days, head on over to coursefromscratch.com/since3000. I want you to join us on this journey so you can listen to that little voice inside of you too. So go now Do yourself a favor coursefromscratch.com/since3000.
